Proverbs 16:28

Sons;

One of the verses I use in class is one that we often see and hear repeated: Proverbs 16:28 - "A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends."  At first, this seems both self-evident, and really not relevant to us - I don't think that any of us could be described as a "perverse man" or "slanderer."  Solomon, however, is giving us two points that are worth considering.

The first is this: stay away from people like this!  In school, in the workplace, and (unfortunately) even in the church, there will be people who like nothing better than to spread gossip, including things they know to be lies, and often with the goal of causing others pain.  That seems almost inconceivable to us, to think of deliberately hurting someone, but there are those who will easily do so to fulfill some perceived psychological need.  We have to be aware of these people, and do our best to avoid them.  It's not to difficult to find out who these people are: the two-faced who say one thing to a person and a second about that person, the chronic complainers and arguers, those who enjoy pointing out the flaws and imperfections in others.  There is nothing positive in that type of conversation.  And, it can indeed ruin relationships.  That's why we have to be on guard, and shore up relationships before someone like this comes along, so that you be able to withstand whatever they say.  Good (based on Christian love and concern), solid (in which time has been invested) relationships with family and friends is the best defense against such things.

I think, also, that Solomon is making another warning to us, to not be that perverse person.  We can unwittingly say things that serve the same purpose of harming others, whether by accident or by some deeper intent.  That's why we need to be slow to speak, thinking about what we say before we say it - is what we are about to say edifying, helping someone, encouraging them rather than hurting them?  If so, say it; if not, keep your mouth shut!

These are things that we will work on all our lives (I know that I still am!), but the more we watch who we are around, work to build good relations, and keep an eye on what we're about to say, the more a habit it becomes.  The more a habit it becomes, the more we will be a joy to those around us, and that's always a good thing!

Love,

Dad